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Do I look like im not lazy?
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People said I was dumb, but I proved them
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There's nothing wrong with anything.
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Life is hilariously cruel :D
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My folks were always asking me to wear underpants. What am I, the pope?
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This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me!
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons
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Three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population
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A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on
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You don't hear me not complaning
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Would you kindly shut your noise-hole
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Yes, that sequence of words I just said made perfect sense
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I'm calling the police!... Right after I flush some tings.
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Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
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I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
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Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
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When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
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I'm not handicaped, I'm just LAZY!
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I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. where the HECK is my roof?!
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There's a *NEW* Mexico?!?
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I'm telling you ociffer, I'm not drunk!
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Dain Bramaged.
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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
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I love cats...they taste just like chicken
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>> I am nobody, no body is perfect, therefore i am perfect! ;)
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Reality: An illusion due to lack of alcohol.
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[Roses are red, Violets Are blue, When god gave brains, Where the hell where you :|]
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I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
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Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
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[When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you]
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-=Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!!=-
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They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance!
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[I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!]
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Dont steal, the government hates competition!
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Yes.. It was I who let the dogs out!
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Don't drink and drive, you could spill the drink in your car!
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[2 + 2 = 5] for extremely large values of 2.
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My cat's name is mittens!
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Roses r red Violets r blue God made me beautiful But what the hell did he do to you!
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Act your age, not your shoe size!
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God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
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~*~What happens if you get scared half to death 2 timez?~*~
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Dig a lil hole Planet a lil seed Grow a lil tree Smoke a lil weed
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You cant have everything, Where would u put it?
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You were so cute as a baby... what happened?!?
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
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Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
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I'm knot dumb!
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My door is always open so feel free to leave
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This DOG is a good DOG way DOG to keep an fool DOG busy DOG. Read this again without DOG.
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Be selfish just once... If your upset, take someone elses life instead of your own!
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I thought that I could love no other. Until, that is, I met ur brother!
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I love ur smile and ur eyes...Damn im good at telling lies! :D
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I'd Get Up And Do Something With Myself, But I'd Rather Stay In Bed!
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:) My darling my love, my beautiful wife. Marrying you screwed up my life :S
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Why do our noses run and our feet smell?!?!
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Those are my principles. If you don't like them... I have others.
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You may be only young once, but you can be immature forever!
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I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder!
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Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck
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(8)roll roll roll ur joint, gently down the line, take a toke, inhale dat smoke, and blow ur friggin mind!(8)
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Damn right I'm good in bed i can sleep for hours!
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Now that I have a gun...u may run or hide :P
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Knowledge Is Knowing That A Tomato Is A Fruit, Wisdom Is Not Putting It In A Fruit Salad.
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God made elfs God made deers God made u such a queer
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Im not crazy, ask mr bunny and mrs dodo here
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If u want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen
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In jail u get food, in jail u get tea, in jail u get anything butt... the KEY!
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I have a picture of u, I think its very nice, I put it under my bed... 2 scare away the mice!
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I tought u were crazy, now i c ur nuts!
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DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF!
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Life's a game. FISHING IS SERIOUS!
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Be kool.. Dont go to school :D
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Silence is Golden.. But Shouting IS fun!
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It Worries Me How Dumb You Are
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Roll roll roll your joint, twist down the end, take a puff thats enough, pass it to a friend!
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I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it!
